Back in my early freelancing days, I had a client who'd email me four times in one afternoon about the same project. Four! Each one slightly more urgent than the last, despite nothing actually changing between messages.
The first was perfectly reasonable: "Hi Tom, just wondering about timeline for the user flows and wireframes."
By email four it was: "URGENT: Need immediate update on wireframe status for stakeholder meeting tomorrow morning."
Same project. Same deadline we'd already agreed. Just... more capital letters.
And rookie-me? I responded to every single one. Immediately. With increasingly stressed-sounding reassurances.
The problem with ping-pong emails
Here's what I learned the hard way: if someone sends you more than three emails about the same thing in a single day, the problem isn't urgency. It's anxiety.
And anxiety is contagious. Start responding to every "urgent" email immediately, and suddenly everything becomes urgent. Your calm, measured approach gets replaced by their frantic energy – and theirs gets worse because they think everything really is falling apart.
A simple solution that actually works
So I have a rule now: three emails maximum before I pick up the phone.
Not to be difficult. Not to be awkward. But because a two-minute conversation usually solves what seventeen back-and-forth emails never could.
"Oh right, you just need to know I'm still on track? Yeah, all good. Wireframes coming Thursday as planned. No dramas."
Problem solved. Anxiety deflated. Everyone back to normal human communication levels.
The dog reckons people email when they're worried, and phone when they want answers. He's not wrong. Though coming from someone who barks at the postman every single day, his communication advice should probably be taken with a pinch of salt.
If you're drowning in email ping-pong this week, try suggesting a quick call instead.
Your inbox will thank you.
— Tom
